happy new year, belatedly

Green is far and away my favorite color, so I offer this green photograph as my greetings for the new year. So far so good. Things go along, days go by; I am busy almost all the time without a lot of time, lately, to reflect. I am finding that my mood is captive to my dreams, so I have been making a special effort to spend time upon waking reviewing the strange twists and plots of my usually colorful dreams. Mine are rarely all good or all bad, but seem to be a mixture of shades. I am happy to report that I feel content lately, with only some nagging physical complaints: a relentless sinus/respiratory problem that is resisting all my attempts to find relief.

happy holidays

Lost, continued

No, I am not lost. But I continue to lose small things. I lost my favorite eraser, which may not sound like a big deal (or any deal at all) but I am almost fetishistic about the materials I use to write music, and the eraser was one of them. I also lost a mechanical pencil that I also liked very much. I have realized that being absent-minded is harmful. The harm comes from the stress I go through when I endlessly search for the lost item. I must be mindful about each and every thing I do, so that when I find myself about to put the eraser in some obscure place I will stop myself.

lost

In the past two weeks I have lost a hat, a mechanical pencil that I loved, and my wallet. The latter was lost on Saturday, while rushing for the subway. I had many packages in my hands and was rushing to catch the R train that was pulling in to Canal Street. Somewhere in swiping my card, negotiating the revolving-door-style turnstile, and keep my packages from getting tangled up or dropped, I must have dropped the wallet. There was no money in it, only my drivers license, my bank card, and one credit card. The worst thing is that I did not discover it was missing until about six hours later, when I was on my way out the door to go out to dinner. Fortunately, no one had tried to use any of my cards, and I had them all canceled. But still, I hate losing things. Losing something makes me feel like I am not in control of myself.

oh well

I had made a little promise to myself. When I finished my last commission (the new piece is called A SPACE BETWEEN, and it's a rather large composition) I was going to give myself a break; I didn't have another commission lined up, and I would take the opportunity to work on some electronic and electroacoustic pieces that I could perform myself. But lo and behold, unbidden, a new commission comes along. This is a large project involving many composers, all of whom will set poems by Richard Wilbur. The works will be performed at the Monadnock Music Festival in New Hampshire next summer. I will be in august company. I couldn't say no. The musicians I will write for are superb, and this is a wonderful festival with a stellar reputation. So no hiatus, at least not yet.

green

Do you know what this is?

I had to...

Post this poem that I just heard on "The Writer's Almanac" on WNYC:

Ocean Drive

by Miriam Levine

Some of us rush from our houses while it's still light
to reach the green allée and the red-lit colonnade.
We press our noses deep into the opening frangipani
and when the Latin band begins we dance to the end of the song.

We dip our children into the ocean and drink
their salty smiles while two feet away a man lies
drunk in the grass. The sun will burn him again.
His shoes are gone and his clothes have dried to his body like a shroud.

In the end we all have to lie down.
If I'm lucky you'll touch my hand and I'll remember
all the good you have done me and your beauty—
no one was more beautiful, your wet black hair, your hands full of roses.

new

For Luigi Nono
oil, acrylic and ink 24"x48"
2008

This is my first new painting in years.

transport: new york

I worked on this project with Yoshitaka. I like it. I have not watched it in a long while, and I don't know what made me think of it--perhaps the dull grey of the sky today--but I am glad that I did.

How I Hate This Man and Everything He Stands For

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/24/campaign.wrap/index.html

Labor Day is past. My schedule tightens up. I do better when busy. I don't know how often I will post here. Tune in from time to time.

future

Well, this spot doesn't look like this now, but in a few months it will. The air has held the promise of fall the past several days until today the humidity put me back into summer. But it mattered little because I stayed in and painted the baseboards of my apartment (thrilling!) and worked.

Last weekend I went to New Hampshire to hear my "Hommage à B.B." beautifully performed at the Monadnock Music Festival. There was a very warm and interested audience and I gave a little talk about my piece at the start of the concert. It was fun overall. And New Hampshire is just beautiful. Why don't I live there?

freaky

Donald Erb, a very fine composer, passed away last night. The reason I mention this is that on Sunday I was thinking of Donald Erb, completely out of the blue. I was wondering what he was up to and that I had not heard anything about him in years. He was a great composer, a very unpretentious and garrulous guy (qualities notably absent in many composers, I've found). I should talk. I like to think that I am not pretentious--I hope I am not--but I don't know if I, or anyone, would ever describe me as "garrulous." Maybe I am psychic. This is not the first time such a thing has happened.

working all the time

more (will it ever end?)

Well, I had vowed that my shopping would end with the purchase of my bike. But yesterday I made my way, once again, to Secaucus NJ. My destination? The DWR Annex, the site of most of my best furniture finds. And lo and behold, I found a rare Eames Case Study bedside table. I have always wanted the case study bed (in the picture), but it can't fit into the elevator of my building. But the bedside table is another item I've longed for. And it was marked down ridiculously, unlike most of the stuff at the annex, seemingly priced for a vanished class of I-bankers. I think they discounted it because it appeared to have a large stain, which upon close inspection revealed itself to be easily removed. So I carted it home, and it sits next to my bed now, its ample drawer filled with various items, its large surface home to my radio and a pile of books. I think that now my bedroom is complete, although a new dresser would be great one day.

Note: the picture is NOT my room; the shoes are a giveaway. Strange as I might be sometimes, I don't wear shoes like that, ever. And as I said, I don't have a case study bed.