movies/life

Last night Y and I watched this French film, "Come Undone," which I had on DVD. It is about a young man's breakdown and recovery mixed with flashbacks of his first affair, some earlier summer; his first affair with a guy, gone on while his mother lay upstairs in a depressed fog. There are scenes of the guy when he spends time in a mental hospital, and it looked so attractive to me. Like a time with no obligations and soothing blankness. And people to bring food and to give you pills to knock you out so you don't have to think. But earlier, when we came home from Patsy's (best pizza in NYC!!! and a short walk from here) a woman in a nearby apartment was yelling and crying and sounded like she was having a breakdown. Now she is at it again. She says things like "I can't take it anymore" and goes on a rant that I can only partly understand and then she cries and cries. It is very disturbing to listen to and then I read surangama's post from yesterday where he says "i am inexorably sad today" and I think of the crying woman. I think of how often surangama's words could be my words. Today I am not so sad, maybe just serious. It is new year's eve yet I can't imagine celebration. The tsunami and the war in Iraq seem to dictate that we have an evening of contemplation and thoughtfulness.