shake

hand
Originally uploaded by madabandon.

My hands shake intermittently. For years now. It is worse in my right hand. Sometimes, when I am on the verge of sleep, my whole right side shakes: my head, my leg, my foot. When I pour a drink, my hand can shake so badly that I spill it. This can be embarassing, because it appears to others that I might be an alcoholic. Finally the shaking got so severe and troubling that I consulted my doctor. I was sent to a neurologist. After much testing (and fear) I was diagnosed with "essential tremor." This was a relief, since other possible causes were Parkinson's disease, muscular dystrophy, multiple sclerosis, or brain tumor. I was afraid that I might not be able to play piano well anymore. Though, interestingly, when I play piano my hand does not shake, perhaps because it is focused on the intricate coordination required of it. But for a recovered hypochondriac like me, this was almost too much. Still, my hand shakes.