grey day

Yesterday I drove in my old red volvo to New Jersey, where Y and I went to a huge supermarket to buy groceries. It was crowded and confusing. Everyone was white. Well, almost everyone. There was the occasional Asian family, and I saw one trio, two parents and a boy, speaking Spanish. I also saw one family that looked Indian or Pakistani or maybe Bengali. The aisles were huge and wide, so unlike in NYC grocery stores, there were no collisions of shopping carts. When I am in a place like this I get very nervous and irritable and just want to get out as quickly as possible. After we had bought our bags and bags of stuff (lots of pet supplies, including the largest tub of cat litter I have ever seen, for ten dollars!) I could not figure out how to escape the parking lot and find the road, and people were angrily gesturing at me from the windows of the bloated SUVs as I drove around, befuddled and hesitant, trying to get out. Also I noticed that, unlike mine, the cars were shiny and clean, and I thought that washing the car in winter is a waste of water and energy, and we could all do our little part to help the environment if we just let the car stay dirty while the weather is bad. This is an example of what my brother calls my "righteous" mindset, but I don't think that it is a bad thing.