Sunday, March 06, 2005


I wrote a long and anguished post yesterday afternoon. I posted it. An hour later, I read it again, and I deleted it. This is a kind of self-censorship. While what I wrote was true, very true, I felt embarassed for myself when I read it objectively. And so I edit what I've written, or delete it entirely. Despite my attempts to be totally honest, what I write here is filtered through a detached sensibility coupled with self-consciousness. The challenge is to turn off the self-consciousness and have the courage to leave my thoughts expressed at any given time as a reflection of what I was thinking THEN, not NOW. But I suppose we all have some cowardice, or fear of how our words might hurt others, or fear of being discovered as something we do not want to be.

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