daylight

Last night, after returning from a post-concert dinner with some of my colleagues, I listened to the recording of the concert, and I was not so pleased. I felt like my playing, which had some bright spots, was uninspired. And so, dulled by my two single-malt scotches, I was feeling down and like I can't really play the piano.

But this morning, I decided to have another try, and I listened again. This time I realized that I was being ridiculously over-critical; actually the performance went well. There were some balance issues (drums a bit loud) but the interplay between the three of us was actually really cool and interesting, and so I no longer feel like I can't play the piano. But I was lucky this time. I had not been practicing much in the last few months, and that is not good. I should try to practice all the time, even if my mind is occupied more with writing. At least practicing is mechanical, in large degree, and can be therapeutic.

So now I feel like there is a little bright light, after last night's gloom.