evening

Is it evening if the sun is still in the sky?

Still so much to do, and I practiced so much today that the dry skin on my hands--hazard of winter--actually cracked and now the little finger of my right hand has a bleeding crevasse which hurts when I play. Pianists use this stuff called "New Skin" which you paint on a cut. It stings like hell but it keeps the thing from getting worse when you have no choice but to practice. I am trying to work out new material for some of the tunes I am playing, because they are standards and there is no point playing standards in 2005 unless you do something new with them. Anyway, I work best when I am under the pressure of an imminent deadline, but I hope tomorrow is more even and does not throw me off balance.

I have to be careful though, because when I get into this kind of energetic mode I usually become manic and tend to fly off the handle easily and get way ahead of myself; my thoughts race so fast and I have difficulty speaking because the words can't make it out of my mouth quickly enough. So I try to breathe and relax, which has some effect, but not enough to bring me to a normal state. That is why I am typing so fast now, I think. So I need to breathe, rest, lie on the floor, do some yoga, close my eyes, breathe, rest, lie on the floor, do some yoga, close my eyes, breathe, rest, lie on the floor...