Friday, March 04, 2005

march 4, long ago in another city

"Every so often a day arrives when everything comes crashing down, walls close in, it becomes a struggle to keep up and moving. This was one. My energy gone, my patience nil, my heart cold. C. cries in the kitchen, chopping carrots too noisily and recklessly, while I, cold and feigning indifference, sit at my drafting table, copying my piece with mechanical precision.

I hate myself when I behave in such a way. It is not something I wish to do, yet I cannot stop it."

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