stupid

I did something stupid. Last night, very tired but feeling agitated, I tried to sleep but could not, although I took 200 mg of my trazodone, more than my normal dosage. So after two hours of frustration, I gave in and took a valium. But that was too much, and I have felt in a fog all day. And now, the thing that I always forget about valium is coming back to haunt me. Valium stays in the system for a long time and makes me feel more depressed. And so here I sit, at six-fifteen, feeling bleak and tired, wishing I could make time disappear, wishing that I would float away.