escape

I love this picture. I took it today while I sat by my car, doing the move-the-car dance that is part of life in New York if you can't afford a garage. I took the camera with me because the sky was so beautiful. I am very happy with this camera, and as I learn to find my way around its complexities, it allows me a lot of control.

But that does not matter. What I want to say is that looking at this takes me away, back to times when I was in high school, old enough to escape my fucked-up family, drive in my car, go to mountains, hike through the woods, and lie on my back and look at a sky like this one.

The last few weeks have been a torturous time for me emotionally, and I feel wrung out like I have not felt in a long long time. In a way, my burning eyes, my blurred vision, is a symbol of how rattled my world has been lately. I don't think, after this, that I am the same as I was before. And yet, in my moments of peace, I know that I will emerge from these trials with more knowledge and understanding, and whatever direction I choose to go, I will do so mindfully.