fog and clouds

This morning when I woke up I felt engulfed in a cloud of gloom. The brilliance of yesterday's sun provided me with a temporary respite, and although I felt agitated in the afternoon, particularly after an intense swim, I had a nice evening with B. But today I am trying hard to keep my shit together, because I feel that at the slightest nudge I could topple. The other day I wrote of feeling like I was about to turn a corner into some unknown place. But I was wrong. I did turn a corner, but the place I found myself I know all too well, and I wish I could go back to where I was before.