phone

I have to find a new psychiatrist. Mine is retiring from private practice. So I called the first doctor I saw in NYC, whom I thought was excellent. Luckily she is back (she had gone away for several years, and in that time I had found a replacement). I called her last week, and left a message. She called back, leaving a message to tell me she could see me and that she would call the following day. I called back, leaving a message, to tell her I would not need to see her until November. She did not call back. I, being insecure and horribly neurotic in these matters, left her another message today telling her I hoped to be able to speak with her directly. I kept calling her office after that, to see if I could catch her. Knowing I was being ridiculous by calling so often, still I could not help myself. Finally she left another message. In my paranoia I felt she sounded annoyed. Why do I torture myself? And in doing so, I most likely alienate others. But I must remember--she is a psychiatrist after all--that she is probably used to people far more difficult than I.