Saturday, October 01, 2005


The sky was blue today. Things happen out of the blue. A fight, and I tell him to leave. He began to gather his things. I could not bear to see him, so I told him to leave immediately. I asked for the keys. I don't want him to come here. I don't want to see him. And then I am shaking so hard and wishing only that I could make everything disappear. And I try to call a friend, just to hear another voice to help me calm down. But it is inconvenient, and I am left staring at the phone in my hand, feeling like I can't breathe. This just brings hopelessness. How could I expect more?

Empty words are so easy. They roll off the tongue and delight the speaker. The unsuspecting may actually believe.

Someone had better watch over me now.


1 comment:

lodgerlow said...

Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear this. The moment has passed now, but my advice to you is to get out of the house as much as possible. Doing this will put you in the path of other people... and provide some perpective. And it is the lack of perspective which will be torturing you. Or at least contributing to it.

Take care hey?