Monday, October 03, 2005


Morning is a most difficult time. After sleep--where dreams take me away--I wake up and within minutes I am reminded of the real situation I am in. Luckily I have things to attend to: the complex feeding procedure for my menagerie, walking Mabel. I am going to keep myself busy. I teach a lot today. Tomorrow I will take Pomona for her thyroid test. I will teach a lesson. I have errands and work to do. I will try to keep my mood from sinking.

I am thinking that it may be impossible for me to have a successful relationship. My condition makes my behavior too volatile, as much as I have improved in this realm. There are still things I can't control. It is asking a lot of another person to deal with this, as most people don't have these crazy mood swings and don't know how to react in the presence of one who does. But B. is right when he tells me "love what you have and let go when it is gone."

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