me

Tomorrow is my birthday. This year I am not depressed (although I don't wish to jinx myself) as I usually am in February. I hope it will be a good year for me. Last year was not so good. In fact, it was a particularly difficult one. I learned a lot though.

At dinner last night I talked to B about regret, and the past, and how I never like to feel that anything in the past was not worth something. But I spoke too of bitterness and sadness, and mourning, and how some things from the past still cause me such pain that I find it difficult to let go of it. I think when I start to talk this way I scare B a bit, because he always seems to recede a little. But I talk anyway, because I find I can talk to him. Even if I do scare him. But I don't think that I really scare him.