switch

Today is day two of my new regimen. Yesterday I felt very tired and a little odd. Today I feel quite tired and at the same time more mentally alert than I have been in a long time. Depression numbs you; you are slow, forgetful; you can't focus well. Sometimes I would feel very confused. Today I feel sharper, better able to focus. This has happened to me almost every time I start a new antidepressant. The lamictal on its own was not doing enough to curb my depression, it seems.

One thought that disturbs me profoundly is the basic core concept of psychopharmaceutical theory. The idea that without taking a pill (or in my case, a number of them) every day I will sink into a state of depression and ultimately total dysfunction...I don't know what to make of it. I do know that in the past, when I went off medication, it led me into a very bad state. So I will just take it as it comes, and hope that I can keep getting better.