strength

As any old friend or family member can attest, I used to be a complete hypochondriac. I didn't know it at the time, but it was another manifestation of my bipolar situation. When I started taking medication years ago, my hypochondria vanished. It was a tremendous relief not to be tortured by imaginary illnesses and preoccupation with my own demise. Yet interestingly enough, in those days I was almost never ill. I would get my annual cold, maybe a touch of the flu every few years.

Now that I am no longer a hypochondriac it seems that over the past ten years I have been subject to numerous medical problems. The latest is just another one in a series. But this is the most troubling, and I feel that I am a participant in an existential game of Russian roulette.

When I told a friend about my situation the first thing she asked me was whether or not I had a will. I don't, but I am going to file one in the next few weeks.