things to do

Just now going through papers on my desk, after taking a valium so that I can calm down, I found a list I made last week, things I had to do this week. "Get steps for Tuna," one entry said. You see, I put the cat food in dishes on my dining table so that Mabel will not eat it. Tuna had increasing difficulty getting up there--he climbed onto a chair first, and from there to the table--and even more difficulty getting down. Often I would lift him down, but what would he do if I were not home? So I was going to go to the pet store and get one of those elaborate cat things, covered with rug, with steps so that he could more easily eat. Now there is no need. And now Patsy is looking all over. I guess she wonders why he is not here. And I am sitting here, feeling sad, relieved that he will not suffer, but wondering what it will be like without my Tuna-Buddha to talk to. And Tuna and I had a great day yesterday. He even asked to come up on the bed, one of his favorite places, and I took a nap with him, and he rested his paw on my hand the whole time.