solitude

I realize that one of the things I like most about teaching is that it is a social activity. Composing or painting is a solitary one. I need solitude to do my creative work, but I also crave interaction.

Since we got back together last spring, Y and I have spent almost every weekend together. We don't see eachother much during the week, as we are both busy and he works long hours sometimes. But our weekends are great. Now he is in Japan and I see the weekend as an expanse of time to fill. Last evening I took my brother to dinner for a belated birthday celebration. It was very nice, food was excellent and it was fun to talk to him. I have not seen much of him the past months because he goes away every weekend and during the week is busy working and socializing (he is a much more compulsive socializer than I am).

But this morning when Patsy woke me up and I started my routine I realized that I had this whole weekend with no real plans. So I did some work, cleaned, read the paper, and still it is only 10 am. I have an urge to go buy some shoes but I really don't want to spend any money. But I will not obsess; if I feel like it I will buy them anyway. I have not been spending much on things other than necessities anyway: food, bills, the car.

I think I will enjoy this weekend but I had better make plans for next weekend because the charm of it will wear thin. Worst of all is that I can't call Y as he doesn't have a cell phone in Japan. He called from Narita but it was in the middle of the night, and my phone was in a jacket pocket and the jacket was in the front closet so I would not have heard it while immersed in my foggy sleep.