wrong way

one way
Originally uploaded by madabandon.

Today, another day of solitude, got me thinking about just what it is that makes me feel bad with this kind of situation. And I realized that it is just another way to make me wish that I had a more functional family life. Not that I want to be married with kids. It is just that I wish that my family did more things together. I rarely see any of them. For example, last evening my sister and her husband had a well-known jazz musician, a friend of my brother-in-law's, over for dinner. It did not occur to them to invite me, even though my sister gleefully told me about it when I called her yesterday morning. I had dinner with my brother on Friday, but that was the first time I'd seen him in a long while, other than having lunch with him one afternoon in the summer. My cousins on my father's side, well, forget them. I only see them if someone dies, gets married, or has a baby. C, who together with M are my surrogate sisters, are never available since C has become a total workaholic who has no time for anything anymore. So without Y here I am simply lonesome on the weekends. I am like the guy on the bike, going the wrong way down the fire lane.