Wednesday, January 24, 2007

reflection


canal wall
Originally uploaded by madabandon.

Normally I spend a lot of time in reflection. My success as an artist and teacher depends on my ability to reflect, to consider, and to express my ideas. The last few days, though, have been so hectic that I have hardly had the time for such things. There have been too many demands on my time, culminating in a school concert last evening. My students played very well. As usual, though, when people came to congratulate me on the job I did, I immediately deflected the compliments back to the students themselves. Part of this reflexive response is entirely appropriate, because the students, not I, are the ones performing. But what lies behind this inability I have to truly believe the compliments I receive? What kind of insecurities do I have? Or do I just not trust people in general? Something to reflect on...

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After the concert I ran home to see the "State of the Union" address given by W. I could have had dinner, on the school's dime, with some of my colleagues instead. But I was committed to watching that sad, tired speech. I should have gone to dinner instead.

1 comment:

she said...

your music is beautiful to me.

that's my truth.

although it is my nature to point out things i like and enjoy,

i have a hard time too, accepting compliments; believing them.

but, you may have found this with your paintings: that some people love them, and others don't. each person is telling their personal truth, which changes depending on the person, while the painting stays the same. the painting is what it is, and how people respond

this tells much more about the person than the painting, yes?

i enjoy reading through your blog posts, looking at all the photographs, imagining life in ny as you describe it

but i'm left with an unanswered question. what or who makes you laugh? -california