Friday, December 14, 2007


Originally uploaded by madabandon.

I am buried under a pile of work. Not only do I have two pieces weighing heavily on my mind, but I am writing student evaluations. I can only write a few at a time, because I try very hard to be thorough and precise in my language, and it takes a lot of concentration. Now of course if I spent half as much time actually doing the things I have to--rather than thinking about how much I have to do--I would be finished by now. But this has always been my habit. Somehow, in the state of carrying this constant burden, my little brain works out the issues so that when I come around to do the work, it comes easily.

There is also a lot going on in my non-work life. My aunt--my mom's much younger sister, to whom I am quite close--is facing some serious medical issues. This is bringing back very clearly the memories of my mother's illness, and so while I am very concerned and am in daily contact with her (she lives in southern Florida, near Miami) the situation is creating a great deal of anxiety for me. It does not help that her own kids are utterly selfish and self-absorbed and seem neither capable nor willing to put their own stuff aside to help their mother (even though neither of them works, since they are quite wealthy and spend all their time spending their money).

So it is no wonder I have not been sleeping well and that my general state is more tense than I would like. But to combat that I am soon off to the gym to work myself into exhaustion, which is one of the only things that helps me get my head together.

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