happy holidays

Lost, continued

No, I am not lost. But I continue to lose small things. I lost my favorite eraser, which may not sound like a big deal (or any deal at all) but I am almost fetishistic about the materials I use to write music, and the eraser was one of them. I also lost a mechanical pencil that I also liked very much. I have realized that being absent-minded is harmful. The harm comes from the stress I go through when I endlessly search for the lost item. I must be mindful about each and every thing I do, so that when I find myself about to put the eraser in some obscure place I will stop myself.

lost

In the past two weeks I have lost a hat, a mechanical pencil that I loved, and my wallet. The latter was lost on Saturday, while rushing for the subway. I had many packages in my hands and was rushing to catch the R train that was pulling in to Canal Street. Somewhere in swiping my card, negotiating the revolving-door-style turnstile, and keep my packages from getting tangled up or dropped, I must have dropped the wallet. There was no money in it, only my drivers license, my bank card, and one credit card. The worst thing is that I did not discover it was missing until about six hours later, when I was on my way out the door to go out to dinner. Fortunately, no one had tried to use any of my cards, and I had them all canceled. But still, I hate losing things. Losing something makes me feel like I am not in control of myself.