energized

I am feeling energetic and excited about my prospects lately. The thing is, I usually receive enough positive reinforcement in my composing work: performances, commissions, and the like, so that I don't feel unsure of myself in that arena (although I always feel unsure of my work on a personal level, for how else would I be able to grow?). But in my work as an educator the accolades are few and far between, despite the fact that I have an excellent reputation and many happy students and parents and colleagues to make me feel my work is appreciated. But with this new position, I finally feel secure that my work over the years has led somewhere, to a position of higher visibility and "status" and, most importantly, a chance to actually shape this institution, one that I love so much and to which I have devoted years of time and energy. I won't write more about this, in all likelihood. But the school where I teach is quite well known, has an august reputation in the education world, and is so far seemingly invincibly hip and desirable as a place to be educated and a place to educate. So when I look back on my life from this vantage point, I am surprised and thrilled to have ended up where I am now. And if you had told me, when I was a kid, that this is where I would be, I would not have believed you.

So I am in good spirits. I am throwing myself into my work with even more energy and passion. Things are good. I feel energized by the recognition of my peers. I feel confident in my ability to do this new job excellently and to hold myself to the highest standard.