mind over matter?

I don't think "mind over matter" applies in this case. I can say to myself "don't get depressed. don't get depressed." But that would be mind over mind. And that does not seem to work. Maybe I can figure out "body over mind" and somehow get my body to control my brain, and maybe then I won't keep sinking, as I am now, into depression. I don't know if it will work. I feel the cut of sadness and I feel the rise of blackness and I am on the verge of tears at every moment. Sleep is the only thing that is bearable, and I can't sleep anymore. My body won't let me. My legs ache and my chest feels tight and there is a lump in my throat and I can't eat. I trust nothing. Soon I will trust no one and I am afraid of that. I would think that, after so many years, I would have a thick enough skin that I would not let someone cut me so deeply. But I don't have that skin. Mine is delicate, more a veil, burning.