warning

My day started out rocky (mood touchy) but in the afternoon it quickly turned awful. I went with my brother, at his urging, to go look at the house in Pennsylvania that he is buying, and to be there for the house inspection. I agreed to go but had to take Mabel, because I could not arrange for anyone to feed/walk her and I would be gone until late. In the car somewhere in New Jersey my brother put on this Steve Earl CD. He loves it, but I absolutely suffer from it, it is so awful to my ears. I have never said this to him. I asked him if we could listen to something else, something we both liked. Incredibly, he launched into a raging stinging rant: I was spoiled, I was a dick, I was an asshole, I thought the world owed me something. I did not understand; I did not know where this came from. I thought that I had to escape. I was so upset and furious that if I had not had Mabel with me I would have jumped out of the car and hitch-hiked my way back home without hesitation. I tried to explain to him that if I were driving I would not put Bartok String Quartets on, if I knew that he didn't like them. Simple enough. But he was like a crazy man, so enraged. Now I still feel rattled and upset, so much so that I managed to lose my keys on the way home. I am exhausted, shaken, and furious. Tomorrow is his birthday and I can't even face the thought of having to talk to him.