Tuesday, October 18, 2005

uphill struggle

This morning I woke up and did the usual feeding of the menagerie, then took Mabel for a walk. We ran into J., Mabel's favorite. She was walking her usual crowd. We discussed the way that the Hasidic guys who run the office supply store on Court Street and how they ogle her when she goes into the store. She suggested that someone make a documentary on the sexual practices of the various sects of Hasidism. Sex and sects? "Torah and Tits!" she exclaimed as I laughed so hard I thought I would fall down.

Then I took the car to the shop, yet again. I felt a sense of utter futility when I woke up, knowing that this was what awaited me. Now I could definitely be accused of over-reacting, but this incident just reminds me of how difficult little things are for me, and the precarious nature of my finances. I feel frustrated. Yesterday, talking to my brother, I told him that the car was giving me problems again. He chided me and reminded me (unnecessarily) of how many times the car had given me difficulties. "What do you expect? I am driving a thirteen-year-old car," I told him. I was exasperated. Clearly if I could afford a newer car, I would have one. This is difficult for him to fathom. For a "normal" person these little inconveniences are not a huge problem. For me, they threaten to plunge me into a state of despair.

I struggle uphill most of the time. Good thing I can laugh, though. Torah and tits!

stairwell II

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