status quo

On Friday I decided that I would have a fun weekend. I made a festive dinner that evening--Y joined me--of roasted chicken (organic, free-range blahblahblah) and the accoutrements. Then early yesterday we drove to Robert Moses State Park. The beaches there are beautiful and it is nicer than Jones Beach, although a bit more of a trek. That was nice and the weather was great. However, in the car I just started bawling. Then on the beach I was consumed with sadness. When I drove back to Brooklyn I was exhausted and just wanted to get inside, take a shower, and rest. But I got to the apartment only to realize that I'd left some stuff in my car. This tiny little hitch--my car was parked several blocks away--just made me crumble. It wasn't anything in particular; it was my grief. Just plain exhausting, horrible grief and sadness. But last evening Y and I found this amazing Japanese restaurant in the most unlikely location in Prospect Heights. So it was a fun day but I was just too sad to realize it.