Friday, January 12, 2007


Originally uploaded by madabandon.

I had a very interesting appointment with my doc yesterday. I told her about the difficulties I have had since I saw her last month, and how the rapid cycling of my mood is puzzling to me. We discussed medication and whether or not it was worth going back on lamictal. My feeling is that it is not worth it. Since I have stopped taking it, my tremor is substantially better and I am not having the horrific memory lapses that were scaring me. And she told me that I might just have to choose to accept the fact that this bipolar-ness is the way that I am, and that since medication does not solve the problem--it just exchanges one set of problems for another--I can just continue to manage myself as I have done (mostly) successfully so far. It makes total sense. It is something I have been thinking of--and writing of here--for a long time. So that is what I will do. I'll just have to hold onto my hat.

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