Sunday, September 09, 2007

tucson clairvoyant

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I wonder if the Tucson Clairvoyant could tell me what the coming school year holds. I am excited to start teaching. I love teaching and I am lucky to teach really bright students. And what an assortment! We have quite an eclectic population. Faculty included. The only thing that is not diverse about our community is that there are probably almost no Republicans among us.

My goal is to keep my energy level up by treating myself well. I will exercise with more discipline and stay organized as much as possible. I want to enjoy my work and not let it stress me out. And part of that will come from learning to say no to obligations that might threaten my balance. I have always had some difficulty with this, and tend to take on too much work. I get it done, and I do it well, but I sacrifice my sanity and peace of mind in the process. And one thing that will help is that I am feeling quite confident these days. The nagging insecurities that plagued me most of my life seem to be dissipating. I hope it is not an illusion.

On another topic: last evening I went out to help celebrate the birthday of a younger friend. Originally I was going to co-host a small party for her but plans changed and I went to the East Village to meet for dinner and then after-dinner carousing somewhere. It was awfully humid last night and I felt it acutely. It seemed to sap my strength. After dinner we went to HiFi, a bar on Avenue A. It was nice enough at first, relatively uncrowded. But the jukebox was incredibly loud and with my less-than-perfect hearing (the curse of aging and the life of a musician) as the place got more full with patrons all I could hear was a unnerving roaring in my ears. I could not have a conversation, even with the people sitting directly next to me. I was tired, and this compounded my feeling of being utterly out of place; it did not help that the place was full of NYU students and I was probably one of the oldest in the room. So I did something rather selfish and uncelebratory and I left. I was upset at myself and the situation, but I could not see another way to cope. I should know better next time. My days of hanging out in crowded loud bars until the wee hours are long behind me.

1 comment:

she said...

you are dedicated and passionate; i predict a great year ahead

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so life enhancing, the ability to set boundaries; say no when your plate is full. making free time and time for rest priorities, not treating them as flexible, or negotiable, first to get thrown out when something comes up

give rest and free time the same importance as time in the classroom

-but i know the world has not caught up yet with their importance

you will be supported saying, "can't help that day; i'm teaching" but,

"can't help right now, this is my free time"

that can cost you

so white lies are necessary and helpful until more people are enlightened

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so crisp and descriptive, your writing, that i got up and left the bar with you -only with less guilt and more joy for the peace outside the doors