Tuesday, January 15, 2008

energized

I am feeling energetic and excited about my prospects lately. The thing is, I usually receive enough positive reinforcement in my composing work: performances, commissions, and the like, so that I don't feel unsure of myself in that arena (although I always feel unsure of my work on a personal level, for how else would I be able to grow?). But in my work as an educator the accolades are few and far between, despite the fact that I have an excellent reputation and many happy students and parents and colleagues to make me feel my work is appreciated. But with this new position, I finally feel secure that my work over the years has led somewhere, to a position of higher visibility and "status" and, most importantly, a chance to actually shape this institution, one that I love so much and to which I have devoted years of time and energy. I won't write more about this, in all likelihood. But the school where I teach is quite well known, has an august reputation in the education world, and is so far seemingly invincibly hip and desirable as a place to be educated and a place to educate. So when I look back on my life from this vantage point, I am surprised and thrilled to have ended up where I am now. And if you had told me, when I was a kid, that this is where I would be, I would not have believed you.

So I am in good spirits. I am throwing myself into my work with even more energy and passion. Things are good. I feel energized by the recognition of my peers. I feel confident in my ability to do this new job excellently and to hold myself to the highest standard.

2 comments:

she said...

madabandon! i feel so excited and happy for you..

totally understand what you've so clearly articulated here

the confidence in one area.. and doubt now removed from this other

spiritual, professional and personal relief! and permission to give yourself fully

but what a wonderful post to have on your blog.. even if you don't write more about it (although i'm hopeful you will)

you have paused long enough to recognize your success.. the merits of your time, creative efforts and dedication

your blessings.

that you continued on without the accolades for this long..

that you know, you would have continued on still, without this current promotion/recognition

well, you've done great justice to your God given gifts and talents

and it does my heart quite good to know a larger body of people will benefit from your creative passion and life work

BIG CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!

love, ~s.

medusa said...

Congrats - both on your new responsibilities and your positive feelings about them.

I guess this means you are no longer thinking of moving elsewhere?