Sunday, March 04, 2007

petrified


old
Originally uploaded by madabandon.

Every day I take my pills. In the morning I take my budeprion and sometimes, based on what I sense is the level of crazed energy inside me, I take half of a clonopin. Then at bedtime, another budeprion and my trazodone, without which I would never fall asleep. I have been taking one or another or all plus others in various combinations for about fourteen years. I don't really like to take pills and I find it difficult to keep track. But maybe they are just keeping the depressed energy petrified in some deep hidden crevasse of my brain, so that it will suffocate from a lack of bloodflow and ultimately die.

I have stopped the regimes at various times, with the cooperation of my doctors. But it never does what I expect. I feel strange for a while, then ok, and then my moods--ever erratic anyway--start to careen and veer precipitously from up to down.

2 comments:

she said...

great shot

and three cheers for medication!

i read everything about the brain i can get my hands on, watch anything available about the brain on tv -remain with only a layman's understanding

but still

am quite convinced, the successful surgeries we are AT LAST! witnessing for people with parkinson's and tourette's will also be available to help people who suffer with depression and other neurological disorders that steal basic qualities of life



(you are so kind to add my blog to your link list/made my day/thank you!)

about a boy said...

im on trazodone too, amongst others. it helps me sleep.