rocks

I have been very busy with work lately. This is all well and good while I am there. But when I leave I feel utterly busted. I go to the gym and work myself into exhaustion, and then I feel like I will never sleep enough, and my head spins with worry that I am sinking into a deep depression. It is funny how, while working, I escape myself and feel ok. But once I stop it is like I have been slammed by a huge wave, like the one that hits you when you have your back turned and knocks you into the roiling surf.

And to add to my woes, I have to find a new doctor soon, as my psychiatrist will retire at the end of the year. This fills me with dread, because as anyone who has been under a psychiatrist's care knows, it is a very difficult relationship to establish. For me it looms too large, a huge wall that I can't imagine climbing past.